Creating Your Village at Your New Duty Station

I think the hardest part of moving somewhere new is the overwhelming feeling of not belonging. Not having a group of people who you can trust. Who you can rely on. Having to start over every 2-3 years can feel extremely isolating, especially if you have children, or your spouse is attached to an underway billet.  I truly think the best way to feel better about this, is to rotate that perspective. Each station presents a new opportunity. A new chapter, as cliche as that sounds. You never know who may be ready to enter your life just around the corner. 

Take the First Step

First things first, join the Facebook group for that area. I know it may seem silly, but it’s a great resource for meeting people and seeing the places to go, things to do. There is most definitely another spouse just like you feeling lonely, overwhelmed, maybe even scared. 

The next thing I always do is use the app AllTrails to find places to hike and parks in the area. It’s always nice to get outside and see what your new home has to offer. You might be surprised at how pretty some of the areas can be and what your favorite spot may be. 

Another tool I use, ironically, is Instagram. Sometimes you can find hidden gems just by searching the town. For example, when my husband was deployed on a boat, I had a lot of time to explore, and I would find new coffee shops in Connecticut just by searching reels. 

Last but not least, go to the local library! Especially if you have kids. Almost every library has story times, and they are a free way to not only occupy your babies, but meet people! In addition to that a bulletin board can be your best bet to find local events.

Remember to…

It may seem so ridiculous, but get out of your comfort zone. Don’t stay isolated. Go for a walk in your new neighborhood. Chat with your neighbor. Ask the gas station attendant where to go to eat out. Or what park is their favorite. Message that mom on the Facebook spouse page about meeting up at the playground or for coffee. You might be surprised how easily you connect with someone in the same shoes as you! It may be a slow burn, but before you know it, you may have met your new best friend. Trust the process. 

Meet Chandler

Chandler is a small town girl from Central New York. Her whole life she swore against the military lifestyle. She didn’t want to be away from family… and then she met her husband. 

She and her husband have been together for six years and married for three. They have a son named Foster and a daughter named Lucy. Chandler met her husband in his hometown of Sitka, Alaska while she was working for a bear rescue. She had been a long time adventurer traveling for her job as a zookeeper. Upon meeting her husband two weeks before he left for boot camp, she realized nothing would ever be the same. They have endured many miles of distance and six years of “boat life.” She is getting the hang of military life and tries to constantly learn new things to help herself and others. 

In her spare time, Chandler enjoys finding new hiking trails, sipping a coffee in local coffee shops, DIY home projects, and relaxing with her family.