Faith and Flexibility: Leaning on God During the “In-Between”

A Christian perspective on trust, uncertainty, and spiritual resilience in the Reservist lifestyle.

There is something uniquely disorienting about life as a Reserve family.

One moment, life feels almost completely civilian. You’re sitting in work meetings, meal planning for the week, coordinating sports schedules, serving at church, and trying to remember which child needs what color shirt for school spirit day.

Then suddenly, military life steps back into the picture.

Orders change. Drill schedules shift. Training dates move. A single phone call changes the next several months (or year) of your family’s rhythm in a matter of minutes.

Reserve families often live in the tension of two worlds at once. We build lives deeply rooted in our civilian communities while simultaneously knowing the military always has the ability to redirect our plans. We are fully committed to careers, churches, schools, friendships, and routines, but there is always a part of us quietly bracing for interruption.

And if I’m honest? That constant tension can be exhausting.

Not always dramatically exhausting. Sometimes it’s subtle:

• It’s the low-level anxiety of never feeling completely settled.
• It’s trying to plan responsibly while also holding those plans loosely.
• It’s learning how to answer your children’s questions when you don’t fully know the answers yourself.

Military life often teaches flexibility as a practical skill. But spiritually, I’ve realized God has been teaching me something deeper through it: surrender.

Because flexibility sounds admirable until you realize how often it requires letting go. Letting go of control. Letting go of certainty. Letting go of perfectly mapped-out timelines. Letting go of the illusion that if we just prepare well enough, we can somehow prevent disappointment or disruption.

As a working mom, organization is one of the ways I create peace. Color-coded calendars, reminder notifications, meal plans, backup plans – I love structure because structure makes me feel secure. But Reserve life has a way of exposing how fragile our sense of control really is.

And maybe that’s part of the refining.

Proverbs 3:5–6 tells us to “trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” I’ve quoted those verses many times in my life. But military life has forced me to actually live them. Faith becomes very real when you can’t rely on predictability anymore.

The Challenge of the Isolated Middle

I think one of the hardest parts of the Reservist lifestyle is that many of us don’t fully fit into either world.

Civilian friends may not completely understand the emotional weight military obligations carry for our families. Meanwhile, because we don’t live near a base or inside a traditional military community, Reserve spouses can sometimes feel disconnected from the built-in support systems active-duty families often have access to.

So we quietly carry both worlds at once.

We learn how to pivot quickly. How to become independent. How to adapt. How to keep moving forward when plans suddenly change. But somewhere along the way, I think many military spouses begin believing strength means holding everything together perfectly.

Yet scripture paints a different picture of strength.

Isaiah 40:31 says, “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.”

Notice to whom that verse promises strength. Not those who have all the answers. Not those with perfectly stable circumstances. Not those who never struggle. Those who hope in Him.

That kind of hope is not passive optimism. It’s a daily dependence. It’s waking up each morning and choosing to trust God with the pieces you cannot control. It’s believing He remains steady even when your plans are not. It’s learning that spiritual resilience is not pretending uncertainty doesn’t affect you; it’s remaining anchored to God in the middle of that uncertainty.

The Hidden Gift of the “In-Between”

And maybe there is the hidden gift within the “In-Between.” Not that uncertainty suddenly becomes easy, but that it slowly teaches us where true security was meant to come from all along.

Reserve life may always require flexibility from our families, but faith reminds us that flexibility does not have to mean instability.

And in the middle of all the shifting schedules and unknowns, our children are learning something too.

They are watching us navigate disappointment, uncertainty, sacrifice, and change. They are learning that plans can shift without everything falling apart. They are learning adaptability, resilience, and faith in real time.

Stability is not found in perfectly predictable circumstances; it’s found in a faithful God who remains steady through all of them.

Our schedules may change.

Our timelines may shift.

Our plans may unravel.

God remains unwavering through all of it. Sometimes the greatest testimony of faith is not having every answer, it’s continuing to trust God faithfully in the middle of the unknown.

Meet Ashley

Ashley has been an Army Reservist Officer’s wife for a little more than three years, is a full-time working mom of two, and a proud believer. 

She works as an Account Manager at US Digital Partners, where she brings strategy and clarity to creative work. Outside the office, Ashley serves on the worship team, social media team, and leads the MOMS group at her local church – several roles that reflect her deep love for community and faith. 

Whether navigating military life or motherhood, she’s passionate about showing up with authenticity, purpose, and grace. Excited to be here and give a voice to the reservist community!