Family and Personal Safety During Military Deployments

I know I’m not alone in feeling a little uneasy when my husband leaves for long trips. I’m sure we’ve all woken up to every sound at night when the bed was half empty. I’m sure we’ve been a little hesitant on answering the door when we’re home alone. I’m sure we moms have been a little nervous taking our kids with us in public by ourselves.

That was me a few years ago. When my husband deployed for the first time, I did not realize how much I relied on him for the safety of myself and our family. Him leaving made me realize how unsecured our home was and how unprepared I was to protect myself and my daughter if anyone decided to break in. That did not sit well with me. After the first night by myself, I did a little research on how to increase the safety of my home and signed up for a class to get my concealed carry license, which I had been meaning to get for a few years. At the end of the carry course, I still had so many questions and my research on both firearms and home security made me feel overwhelmed. There were too many articles, YouTube videos, opinions, and options. I bought a few basic items and then gave up on doing more.

Since then, I’ve made every effort to take my safety into my own hands and to be able to protect my kids as well. I’ve read dozens of books and took a handful of training courses to learn about becoming my own first responder. It is a lot and I understand how overwhelming it is to digest all this information, which is one of the main reasons why we tend to shy away from it. Not to mention it’s also a male dominant field. 

So fast forward to 2021, I am on a mission to help others not be in the position I was in. We want to be in a state of confidence, not paranoia. 

How do I increase my home’s safety while my spouse is deployed or away?

First, do not announce that your spouse is away. Social media is not as secure as we’d like to think it is, regardless of your settings. Instead, announce when they’re home! If you need work done on the house, have someone (family or friend) join you while the work is being done. Also, be careful with what information you are giving away during casual chit chat. Something as simple as, “The kids miss their dad so much” can suggest that your husband has been away for a while. Beef up your home’s security! A lot of amazing home security improvements can be made for under $25 per door and window. For doors, by replacing all screws with 3” screws, adding a deadbolt if you don’t have one already, and switching out the strike plate for a reinforced strike plate will increase the door’s strength by 17 times the standard American door! This makes it extremely hard to kick in. For windows, you can add 8mm-12mm protective laminate to the glass and replace any plastic locks with metals locks, which can add minutes to breaking in through a window vs a few seconds.

How do I keep my kids safe when I’m alone with them in public?

The first concept we want to understand is that criminals want to get what they desire without getting hurt or caught. This means they will be looking for easy victims. So how do we not be an easy target? Give a vibe that we’re going to be difficult to deal with. Do this by scanning everything within your personal bubble (30-50 feet around you, including behind you) and make eye contact with anyone within that bubble. This eliminates the attackers ability to surprise you. Walk like a superhero: stand tall, be confident, and walk with purpose. Be sure to walk with or faster than the crowd. Eliminate all distractions: put away the phone and have control of your kids and any shopping bags. When loading your car, load your kids first, then load your bags. Be sure to have the door you are standing at unlocked, all other doors should be locked so there is only one point of entry into the car and you are in control of it. Keep your kids within one degree of you, for example, in a baby carrier, strapped in the shopping cart, holding their hands, etc. Most important, listen to your gut. Instinct has been part of human behavior for as long as humans have been around for. It’s served us well and we should continue to listen to it. If anything feels off or uncomfortable, get help or call 911. Never ever feel embarrassed about potentially overreacting. 

I want to know how to use firearms but I don’t have anyone to teach me

I was lucky to have my husband there to safely teach me about firearms and be able to answer all my questions. I realize it can be a scary subject especially if we have little knowledge about firearms. One of the best ways you can get into firearms is to find an instructor that you are comfortable with. Look up a few in your area, read their reviews, and then sit down with them to ask how they train those new to firearms before you sign up for a lesson. Another great way to ease into the realm of firearms is to watch a few YouTube videos from quality creators on basic firearm safety rules, mechanics, and handling.

I want my concealed carry, but I don’t know where to start

Whether you’re in a Constitutional Carry state or not, it’s always a good idea to take the concealed carry permit course. You learn about state and federal laws as well as tips on how to concealed carry. Not to mention, most states don’t allow you to have a firearm within 1000 feet of a school without a permit, even if you’re in a state that doesn’t require permits. Simply driving by a school on the road could be illegal. As far as carrying, the firearm is useless if it stays at home. This usually happens because it’s too big or too uncomfortable to carry. Find one that fits well. The most popular concealed carry handguns for women are compact 9mm handguns. They’re easy to conceal, easy to handle, lightweight, and still has sufficient stopping power to stop a threat. Need to narrow it down some more? Go to a range and rent as many as you’d like to find one that works for you.