From Overwhelmed to Prepared: How Military Parents Can Prep for Their Next IEP Meeting

If you have ever opened your child’s Individualized Education Program (IEP) the night before a meeting and thought, Where do I even start? — you are certainly not alone.

IEPs can be overwhelming. Add in a PCS, a new school, deployment, solo parenting, or just the normal chaos of military family life, and finding hours to prepare for another meeting probably just isn’t happening.

And here is the thing: I say that as someone who has sat on the other side of the IEP table.

I am a speech-language pathologist, special education advocate, military spouse, and mom. I still remember my first year working in the schools during COVID, in a new state post PCS, trying to navigate special education systems and wondering how I was supposed to understand all of it.

And I remember thinking: If I feel overwhelmed as the professional sitting in this meeting, how must the parent feel?

That experience stuck with me and shaped the remainder of my career. 

It’s also a big reason behind why I created Prep Like an IEP Advocate: Military Family Edition — a free guide that helps military parents prepare for an IEP meeting in just 10 minutes.

But before I tell you more about the guide, here are a few things I want you to know before your next meeting.

You Are the Constant on Your Child’s IEP Team

Military families are really good at starting over. New duty station. New school. New teachers. New therapists. New IEP team.

But through every move and every new team, you are the constant.

The professionals at your child’s school bring important expertise to the table, but they may know your child in ways that are different from how you know them.

They know what your child looks like during math at 10 a.m. on a Tuesday. You know what they look like after a long school day. You know what brings them joy, what frustrates them, what helps them feel safe, and the progress that might not show up on an assessment.

And as a military parent, you carry something else with you: your child’s history.

You remember what worked at the last school. You know which supports made a difference two duty stations ago. You have watched your child adjust to new homes, new classrooms, separations, deployments, and reunions.

When the school team changes, you carry those pieces forward for your child.

That doesn’t mean you need to walk into an IEP meeting knowing every special education acronym or having the perfect words ready. Your knowledge of your child already matters.

You aren’t just invited to the IEP meeting. You are an important member of your child’s IEP team.

Start With Your Child’s Strengths

One of the easiest traps to fall into before the IEP meeting even begins is making a mental list of everything that is hard for your child. This is completely understandable. You are preparing for a meeting about the support your child needs, so naturally you start thinking about where that support is needed.

But I want you to make another list too:

• What is going well?
• What does your child love? Where have you seen growth? What are they proud of? What do you wish their teachers understood about them?
• Your child’s hardest moments should not be the only story being told at the IEP table.

You can advocate for additional support while also ensuring the team sees the funny, creative, determined, thoughtful, dinosaur-obsessed, Minecraft-loving, wonderfully individual kid sitting behind all those pages of paperwork.

Pick Your Top Priorities

You know that feeling when an IEP meeting ends and you get in the car and suddenly remember the ONE thing you really wanted to ask?

Yep. This is why I recommend deciding on your top priorities before the meeting.

Ask yourself: If we only accomplish a few things during this meeting, what do I really want the team to discuss?

• Maybe you want to understand your child’s progress.
• Maybe the accommodation doesn’t seem to be working.
• Maybe you are concerned about a goal not being met. 
• Or maybe you recently moved and want to make sure the new team understands what worked well at your child’s previous school.

Write those priorities down.

You do not need a beautiful binder or hours of preparation. A note in your phone works just fine.

Bring Questions, Not Perfect Words

I think sometimes parents feel like they need to know exactly what to say before they can speak up in an IEP meeting.

You don’t.

Some of the most helpful advocacy questions are also incredibly simple:

• “Can you explain that to me?”
• “What does that look like during the school day?”
• “How will we know if this is working?”
• “Can you show me the data you’re looking at?”
• And one of my favorites: “Can we talk more about that?”

You are allowed to slow the conversation down.

You are allowed to ask for clarification.

You are allowed to bring something back to the table that matters to you.

Advocacy doesn’t have to sound confrontational. It can simply sound like a parent who wants to understand and participate in decisions about their child’s education.

Okay, But What If the Meeting Is Tomorrow?

This is exactly why I made the free guide.

Because as wonderful as it would be to have a quiet Saturday afternoon to carefully review an entire IEP with a fresh cup of coffee and multiple colored highlighters…

Military-family life does not always work that way. In fact, it rarely works that way.

Sometimes you are unpacking boxes. Sometimes your spouse is gone and you are filling every role in the house on your own.  Sometimes you are trying to figure out childcare. And sometimes you look at the calendar and realize, Oh. The IEP meeting is tomorrow.

Prep Like an IEP Advocate: Military Family Edition walks you through exactly what I would focus on if you only had 10 minutes to get ready.

It is broken down minute-by-minute so you are not staring at a giant 35+ page IEP wondering where to begin.

You will think through your child’s strengths, your biggest concerns, important updates, the parts of the IEP worth looking at before the meeting, and the questions you want to bring with you.

At the end, you will create a quick IEP Meeting Brief you can actually take into the meeting.

And because military life does not stop at the school doors, I included military-family considerations throughout the guide too.

The guide is completely free for military families.

Meet Jordyn

Jordyn is a special education advocate, speech-language pathologist, military spouse, and mom of two. She founded Courageous Communicators to support military families as they navigate IEPs and the different seasons of military life—from PCS moves and new schools to deployments, separations, and everything in between. Through practical resources, parent support, and advocacy, Jordyn helps military parents feel more informed, prepared, and confident when advocating for their children.

Learn more at thecourageouscommunicators.com or connect with Jordyn on Instagram at @courageouscommunicators.