I have a huge pit in my stomach just typing out the word “deployment”. It’s inevitable and we know we can survive them, but that doesn’t make the reality of a pending deployment any easier to cope with. This post is all about lifting up milsos who have a deployment lurking around the corner, or are in the middle of dealing with one that feels like it will never end. It stinks, but you’ve got this. It will end!
Here are some tips from the WAF community on what helped them survive a deployment:
STAY BUSY
Be a “yes” woman. Sign-up for squadron events, get involved in community events, start a dinner club with some friends, join a book club, block out weekly Bachelor/wine nights, take that trip to see your college bestie. You get my point! The more you have to look forward to in these weeks/months while your buddy is away the better.
SET A PERSONAL GOAL TO WORK TOWARD
Now is your time to shine. All those things you’ve been dreaming of doing for yourself, guess what? Now you have the undivided attention to focus on those things! Knock out those fitness goals, go back to school and get that degree you’ve been wanting, start that renovation project in the house that’s been driving you insane…this is a great way to not only stay busy, but to FEEL great and boost up that self-confidence before you boo gets back home 🤩
ESTABLISH COMMUNICATION EXPECTATIONS
Before your hunny leaves, sit down and talk about realistic communication expectations. They should have a decent understanding of their pace of work and what’s doable. Regardless, you’ll still have to be flexible…because, shit happens and they might not be able to make that weekly FaceTime date you agreed on. That’s ok, as long as you have a general understanding of the attempts you will make to stay in touch, big or small, that will bring you a LOT of peace of mind when the time comes.
SNAIL MAIL
Fire up those Pinterest boards and get creative! There’s nothing better than handwritten letters and care packages, so take the time to put these things together to send to your loved one. There are a million ideas on the internet and if you’re struggling to come up with what they might want in a package, just remember…keep it simple. Several WAFs have recommended investing in a polaroid camera to send pictures to keep things…saucy…but, you can also send cutie handwritten notes and their favorite candy. Either way, they’re going to be happy to hear from you!
My husband was deployed over his birthday and I reached out to several family and friends, asked them to take a picture with a letter spelling out “Happy Birthday”and I put them all together in a Shutterfly book with notes from each person. He loved getting this and it was a great way to keep me busy while he was gone (it also has been so fun to look back on since!)
Another WAF shared that she made a set of pre-written nots labeled different things like, “when you’re homesick” “after a bad day” etc. that her husband had overseas to read when he needed them – these were especially handy if he needed a little pick me up and they weren’t able to connect on the phone/FaceTime.
DO SOMETHING TOGETHER
SO many WAFs recommended this and I think it’s the BEST. Pick a book, a TV series, a devotional, plan a vacation/post-deployment trip, etc. and do it together!! This not only makes you feel connected every time you sit down to do the activity, but it also gives you something to talk about when the conversation is flat (you can only talk about the deployment food or your work day for so long before it becomes mundane 😂).
DETERMINE IF STAYING AT YOUR NEW HOME IS THE RIGHT MOVE
There are times during our WAF journeys where it makes sense to go back to visit family for an extended period of time during a deployment or TDY. While we truly cherish our time of building our friendship during our husbands deployments – Jen recently was home for her husbands last deployment and loved the memories she made with family. Read all about pro’s and con’s of that option here!
If you have any surviving deployment tips, make sure to leave them in the comments so other military spouses can try them out. For those of you looking for deployment tips specific to your kids, check out the post HERE.
Special thanks to Cassy, Katherine, Juli, Shelby, Jennifer, Lyndsee, Tara, Amanda, Caleigh, Alyssa, Pam, Kate, Claire, Katie and Brittany for contributing their incredible ideas!
