What to Know Before Your Spouse Goes Underway

Depending on your servicemember’s rate and job, there is high chance your loved one is going underway–a general term for time at sea where the ship is traveling around and conducting operations in order to meet objectives. Underway is a good umbrella term which can include the following: deployments (over 90 days), workups (preparation for deployments), and exercises (two weeks to two months) on a surface vessel (ship) or a submarine. The first time my spouse went underway was when it hit me how much time one spends on a ship. Navy life became very real, very quickly.

What to Pack

The first big question I had is “What to pack?”. Your servicemember will hopefully have a sponsor at his/her command who will introduce them to command spaces, get them patches, etc. They will also be a great resource to ensure that your servicemember gets the packing list. The packing list will read much like a college dorm shopping haul list, without the mini fridge and flags of course. We did a bulk Amazon order to collect most of these supplies. One shocker to me was the sheer expense of all these necessities upfront. Budget anywhere from $100-400 for this as it adds up quickly.

Typical Underway Packing List:

• foam mattress topper
• sheets 2 sets
• lightweight comforter/quilt
• pillow
• shower shoes–get crocs or the knockoff ones–the $1 Old Navy flip flops don’t cut it
• robe
• shower caddy–collapsible or the rigid plastic ones
• command hooks
• full-size shower supplies
• 2-3 towels
• uniforms
• socks (double what you need)
• workout clothes
• port call clothes
• snacks
• dehydrated drink mixes
• wired headphones

Communication

Next is the big question we all get, “How often can you talk to them?”. It depends. Depending on which coast, which carrier, which ship, and which fleet. There is no standard amount of time. Typically expect a few days of onboarding where email is not set up yet. In some cases it takes 3 days for email to get up and working and sometimes it takes 20 days for email to get up and working. Getting an email from your loved one is very exciting and you will come to love the asynchronous communication which helps you focus on more thoughtful messaging. 

Tips and Tricks to Conquer Every Underway

Just remember to practice OPSEC and to not blatantly type out in emails or share on social media ever when and where the ship will be. My husband and I came up with a fun system where we coded the map of the fleet area in order to communicate locations and then used altered digits to communicate numeral dates. It also helps breaks up the monotony. More on that for a different day!

Lastly is to claim back that time lost. Whether your servicemember is underway for two weeks or ten months, take back that time. Schedule one thing per week that you wouldn’t do without your loved one. It could be exploring your current duty station (or your hometown if you chose to move back for the time). Try a new workout, join a Facebook group, show up to the coffee, or take on a new job. You aren’t just “filling the time”, you are creating a new version of yourself.

If you are taking care of children, maybe try taking a virtual class online at night about anything that interests you-art, accounting, business building, health, couponing, investing, traveling, etc. Claiming that time back for yourself is essential. Shifting that mindset from “we lost a whole year away from our servicemember” to “I gained a whole year of my new self” will help you conquer every underway.