Just about anyone knows that servicemembers deploy. But those directly connected know that they also complete a full round of work-ups before they even leave for deployment. Whether it be weeks or months in the field, on a training exercise, or underway on a ship or sub, the servicemember is training for joint ops amongst the strike group or joint force (military jargon for lots of pieces moving together and learning how to work together). For the Navy, workups start about 8-10 months before the deployment.
Practice makes progress
The packing and unpacking, pier side drop offs, and airport goodbyes start to add up, but they make you more well-rehearsed and well-versed to the tempo and the emotions you will experience. The first time the servicemember leaves for an underway it stings and it is and uncomfortable feeling like a stranger in your current town. You finally catch a breath and settle into a routine, you learn how to email back and forth, and then before you know it, they are home. You adjust to the servicemember being home. And then the time starts ticking for the next underway, the worry builds around the goodbye, and before you know it you’re back at the parking lot, pier, or airport dropping them off again.
Hot Take: Workups are worse than deployment.
(For the readers of this blog aka the person who does not deploy). The short term nature of these underways and field exercises results in an abundance of disruptions in any couple’s rhythm. It invites in rounds of both joy and pain and plenty of adjustment which is only multiplied if you have children in your life. You are anxious that you servicemember is leaving for the long term on top of the current discomfort of them being away. The servicemember is fatigued, you’re fatigued, and it’s natural to have more conflict amongst the two of you at this time. The anticipation of the big goodbye on top of dealing with your last minute deployment to-dos (please link article about pre-deployment tasks POA, insurance, housekeeping items, etc) and the servicemember being absent is challenging and uncomfortable. Definitely set aside time to talk when you both are not distracted to talk about how each other is feeling in this era amongst workups and with the upcoming deployment. It is easy to be lost in the hustle of the workup phase with how it impacts your home’s rhythm and avoid talking about your feelings. A five minute investment in understanding how eachother is feeling will create a richer, more connected environment during this chaotic time.
Practice perpetuates power
Each completed workup is a huge confidence boost. You made it through 2 weeks away? Amazing job—that was your first hurdle! You survived one month? Yeah you did. You conquered a two month workup? You are unstoppable! If you think about it, deployment will be a similar experience (just times two, three, four, or five). Regardless, you did it. You handled five handfuls of disruptions, abrupt starting and endings, your emotions, your children’s emotions, and communications with extended family members about the situation. Deployment will be better. You will be able to settle into a routine, really find your people, find the things you want to do and the things that make you and (and maybe your kids happy). During workups, you could never really get into a routine.
You have made it through the hardest part. Go celebrate!
Please take your PTO and influence your servicemember to use their leave. Once workups are complete and before the servicemember deploys, the command will likely grant a block of leave. Take that leave. Do whatever you want to do with it. Travel abroad, across the US, or travel to Universal (link to military tickets) or the splashpad—both are awesome! If going home is overwhelming and expensive, stay local. Do whatever you feel is restful. Don’t feel like you have to see every extended family member before the servicemember leaves. You don’t. This block of leave will be weird because you know that the servicemember is leaving soon, but it is a wonderful opportunity to soak up quality time, have really good discussions, and connect.
You did it. The dreaded cloud of deployment is still lingering, but you have made it through the hardest part. Be proud of yourself and the person you have become. As you enter into your next phase of life separated for a longer term, remember how you made it through every impossible and frustrating workup that came your way.
Meet Katie
Katie is a former Air Force brat turned Navy spouse living in Jacksonville, FL. Having met her husband on a dating app (Hinge is great!) while he was in Naval Pilot Training in Pensacola, they have moved around Florida and made Navy life their own. Between workups, underways, and deployments, they have had quite the Navy ride in their first couple years of marriage, but still choose to see the good and growth from it all. From rich friendship forged by months apart, Katie has seen the beauty of community and is reminded of one’s inner strength. In the daytime (and evenings), Katie works as a Realtor, assisting military families navigating PCS season to find affordable and safe housing, both to and from NAS Jacksonville and NS Mayport. In her spare time, she enjoys working out, hot yoga, and traveling.
