Making New Military Spouse Friends at Your New Duty Station

New at your duty station and looking for new friends? It can be hard but here are some ideas to help!

When I first became a military spouse, it was hard to make new friends within the military community. My husband and I were newly married, didn’t have kids yet, I was working full time off base, and we didn’t live on base so I felt really isolated from the military spouse community. Social wellness to me means having a strong community of friends in my local area that I can depend on, relate to, and enjoy time with. Over the years, I’ve learned ways to make new friends at new duty stations, and would love to share a few ideas with you!

Facebook Groups

Whether you live on post or off, Facebook groups can be a great way to meet and connect with new friends! There are often groups for spouses who are connected to the military installation and sometimes even neighborhood groups if you live on post. If you live off post, you can use these groups to seek out and meet new friends who also live off post, or who live on post and share common interests with you! Some of my very best military spouse friends at duty stations I first connected with through social media! (More on that next!) 

Steal these posts to find and connect with new friends!

One of the ways I’ve used to find friends with common interests is to post a message in the neighborhood or spouse Facebook group. Here are a few examples you can easily adapt and use: 

• Hi friends, we’re new to the neighborhood and have a four year old boy. We’d love to meet a few friends his age, would anyone be interested in meeting up at a local playground this week?
• Hello! I just moved to the area and would love to find a few workout buddies or running partners! Anyone else into health and wellness and want to connect?
• Hi! We just arrived and live off post in X neighborhood. We don’t have kids, love a good game night, and enjoy going out and exploring new local restaurants. Anyone else live in their neighborhood and want to be friends? 
• Hello, we recently arrived at this base and are looking for some friends who love to adventure outdoors! Anyone here enjoy hiking? We’d love to hear about your favorite spots and find some fellow hiking buddies! 
• Hi, we’re new here and I’d love to make some mom friends! Is there a book club on post yet? If not, would anyone be interested in starting one?  

From there, I add everyone who replies into a Facebook messenger group so we can easily connect and coordinate moving forward. This is the way I’ve organized park playdates for kids who are the same age as my own, found others who have an interest in wellness or workouts, discovered book clubs, and more!

Extend an Invitation

Don’t mind a crowd or meeting lots of people at the same time? Sharing an open invitation can be a great way to meet lots of people right when you arrive at a new duty station. It doesn’t need to be anything overly complicated! We’ve seen people buy some popsicles and ice cream and share a message in our Facebook group to invite new neighbors to celebrate a child’s birthday or just to introduce themselves to the neighborhood.

When we arrived last year at our new duty station, we hosted a potluck Taco Tuesday at our home about a month after we moved in and invited everyone we’d connected with up to that point. We ended up with a fully packed home and many new friends! As a bonus – many of the people who attended were also new to our installation, so they were able to make lots of new connections with each other, too!

Take a Walk

Especially if you live on post (but even if not!) taking a walk can be one of the easiest ways to meet your neighbors and future friends! We love walking in the evening when the weather is nice when there are often families walking, porch sitting, or having driveway bonfires outside. We introduce ourselves and stop for a quick chat if they don’t seem to be busy. If putting invitations out on social media isn’t your thing, this can be a low-pressure and no-commitment way to meet people!

Say YES!

When I see an opportunity in our new community to connect with others, I try to say “yes” so I can meet new people and make friends. Whether it is a spouse social, spouse orientation, a family get together with your service member’s colleagues, or another installation-sponsored event, I like to attend to get a lay of the land and meet a few new people. You never know where your new best friends will come from!

I know it can be challenging to start over and meet new friends each time you move, but if you take a little initiative, you can find a new awesome friend group in no time! And if all else fails, remember that you always have a strong community of military spouses to support you in our Wives of the Armed Forces Facebook groups!