Nine years into marriage, I thought we had found our rhythm. We had our people, our neighborhood, our church, and our routines. I had worked hard to build a career I loved. Our two young kids were growing up surrounded by community and consistency. Life was full—but it was ours.
Then, everything changed.
My husband has dreamed of serving in the military since he was a teenager. But for 17 years, his dream was blocked—medical disqualifications due to his eyes kept him from enlisting. Until one day, after an experimental eye surgery and a lot of faith, the call came: “Welcome to the Army.”
And just like that, at nearly a decade into marriage and life as we knew it, we became a military family.
Two and half years ago, we dropped him off at the airport for Basic Training. I wasn’t ready. None of us were. I was suddenly a solo parent with a preschooler and a kindergartener, working full-time and trying to hold it all together while figuring out what being a military wife even meant.
I had so many questions. How does this reservist thing actually work? How do I stay connected to my husband during training? What am I even supposed to do as a military spouse?
That’s when I found you—the other wives and girlfriends of soldiers. Through Instagram and Facebook, I connected with other women who were walking similar or the same path. Many were strangers at first, but a few quickly became lifelines. We swapped tips about navigating Army life, cheered for each other’s husbands, and shared the messy parts too—the exhaustion, the worry, the unexpected pride.
These women were there for me after Basic Training and through Officer Candidate School, and they’re still with me today. In a life where so much feels uncertain, they’ve been one of my most unexpected blessings.
When we finally reunited after those first 13 long weeks, I was overwhelmed. My husband, who left unsure of what was ahead, returned not only changed—but deeply affirmed in his calling. While at Fort Jackson, he was awarded the Army Achievement Medal, and I heard stories from fellow soldiers and families about how his leadership helped them through.
It turns out that God wasn’t denying him all those years—He was preparing him. And us.
This life is still new. It’s still hard. Balancing full-time work, motherhood, and military life is no small feat. But I’ve learned that being “new” doesn’t disqualify you from belonging. There’s a space here for women like me—who didn’t grow up around the military, who are figuring it out as they go, who are proud, exhausted, and still wildly in love with the man in uniform.
To any other Reservist wives or girlfriends out there—especially if you came into this life later on, with a full identity and community already built—I see you. You’re not alone. And there’s a place for you here, too.
Meet Ashley
Ashley has been an Army Reservist Officer’s wife for 3 years, is a full-time working mom of two, and a proud believer. She works as an Account Manager at US Digital Partners, where she brings strategy and clarity to creative work. Outside the office, Ashley serves on the worship team and leads the MOMS group at her local church—two roles that reflect her deep love for community and faith. Whether navigating military life or motherhood, she’s passionate about showing up with authenticity, purpose, and grace.
